remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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