just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
