never play flip cup with pint glasses
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
this beer tastes like vomit already
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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