am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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