the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
