yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
