I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
