There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
