im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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