wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize