did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
it's like heaven, but drunker
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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