3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Jerry, you need to find god
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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