Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
