Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
