yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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