I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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