I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
