Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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