How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
