Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
