you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She's the barista slut.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
