Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
