Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He felt like a one man threesome
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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