dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
