she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
