yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
