My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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