Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
