dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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