I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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