You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize