just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
