yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
