So drunk its hurt
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
