I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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