so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
