how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
sex in a hospital.. check
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
