Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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