He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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