you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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