I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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