is your mom at the bar?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Found your dick twin last night
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
