one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Randomize
