is your mom at the bar?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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