how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
