lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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