sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
is wine microwaveable?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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