He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize