you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
