Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
