Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
