ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
