Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
