I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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