Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
