party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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