We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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