dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
