dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm passing your future prison.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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