They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
