If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
