My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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