Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize