Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
