conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize