dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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