Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
